Animal Fam

 

This is what it's like to live

with a compulsive eater

who doesn't get the hint

and views his kidney dialysis

as a "Get out of jail free" card.

Guess which side

of the refrigerator

is King Anthony.

He switched

one of his shelves with mine

and didn't think I would notice.

In the time

it took him to do that,

he could have walked

five steps to the sink

and rinsed the shelf.

Anthony is the epitome of laziness and gluttony.

He never paid a grocery bill out of his own pocket until my father's dying day.

Even now, he lives off money that my father left behind.

He is now legally a senior citizen and eats like a child

collecting empty ice cream cartons under his bed.

Watching his collection of 1000 DVDs

on the old kitchen TV

that he unplugged as I was watching it

and took to his room to replace the one

that he burned out watching his shows,

his new imaginary friends

because my father was the only one

who could bear a conversation with him.

A prep school dropout who drinks my milk and adds water

as though I won't notice the difference in taste.

He claims he doesn't drink milk

then buys a jug if I give it up for two weeks.

I started pre-mixing my milk with iced coffee.

He talks to himself louder and longer now.

I wonder if caffeine is good for the kidneys.

I hope not.

Popcorn at 3 am

waking up the neighbors.

I keep my popcorn locked in my room

after I forgot about a jar I hardly ate

and found it almost empty a month later.

I buy a roll of paper towels.

It disappears in three days.

He claims he doesn't use paper towels.

I hide the roll and it lasts a month.

He wipes his mouth with toilet paper.

How appropriate.